Sunday, October 31, 2010

Maybe this is the another side of me you don’t really know and understand

Seems like Dochi’s blog, right?? But I just feel it too. I feel like I have another side of me that never seen by the other person. Yeah, maybe right if I just live in a pretending. But, it’s alright. Let me try to fix it. I just want to fix my life.

I feel like have a million talent but I don’t use it exactly now. It’s like just I waste my time to live in this world. So,, now I want to rearranged my life. Let me tell you, okey.
Like what I said in my lately post about something I called REVOLUTION. I just think, that I make a unperfect plan. Yeah. There’s something wrong in my plan. I said that I leave all unimportant thing such as playing around and romance thing. And yeah, I know, my life nowadays was hellah so peace. Really peace. Until I can’t feel fun. I’m so lack of fun. Till someday, I feel like this brain is want to explode. I was overcapacity. I full of though, full of worrying. I feel so afraid if I can’t reach my last destination to be the best kid for my mom and dad. To be the greatest kid for ‘em. To being an awesome person for my lovely mom and dad and the other family. Then I forget about everything in my life. I leave my teen life, all of that. I was growing confidence that “I just have to focus to a school stuff. Forget about everything that just waste your time”. And when my friend talk about romance or something I just think “That’s not something you should think about. Just focus on your final purpose”. So,, I was successful for my own revolution. Everything is feel peace. Yeah, so peace until I can’t feel something like fun, and laugh, and blah. I fell so depress. Feels like I was dead and leave my world. I feel so empty. So, lonely. I’m frikin dead.

So I think anymore. This revolution is want to kill me as a poor kid. I can’t bear it. Really tired of this all. I’m sick enough. I feel like torturing my own self. Till I wake up from my nightmare. That I have to rearrange my revolution plan. I don’t want to be success on just one thing. I want to succeed on everything in my life. I want to be multi talented. I want to try everything while I still alive.
If I just run for my school thing, and forget about anything in my own life, I would be depress just like now. So I was rearranged my revolution plan. I want to be good enough on everything I like. I wanna try to be smart student, I want change my appearance and look better, I want try to sing, I want try to learn photography as I want before, I want to learn Korean language, I wanna try to make my own fashion style, I want to work harder on my blog, I want to learn EVERYTHING!! Is that so cool?? Haha..

God!! I know, you were. You’re the best in my life. Even when I forgetting you, you always warned me to return to the right path. I’m really grateful for the life you gave me. I was no regret to born into this self. God, please just lead me to live my life as I want..
I tell too much huh?? okay, let me say goodbye to ya all.
-Rizki D Kelimutu-


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