Dear self

Don't be too serious towards your own fardel. Sometimes, you should try to put yourself as an audience of your own life. Life is funny that way.

We often unconsciously exaggerating our feeling. Like, losing money make you feel upset or a delayed vacation disappoint you. But very often, it's your mind that make you feel that way. Losing money is not that bad, because it maybe remind yourself to share more. A delayed vacation is not that bad because maybe you can have a better offering next time. Don't be easily affected by a trigger that can cause you a negative emotion. Master your own mind and you will find out that life is better that way. ((:

xo, 

kelimutu

The way other people pursue happiness

Sudden thought as I turning off the light of my room last night.

I wonder how other people earn their happiness. Are you willing to share with me?

In love with, Calvin Harris

Blame my high-stress-level lately. Now I'm in love with electro music. And because Calvin harris is my first crush since "Feel so close", now I can't help to not get addicted of his latest single "Blame."

His music was so good to be listened especially if I feel like escaping from my routine stress. It's like its beat is saying "it's okay baby. I got you, I got you." Even my happiness blog seems so sorrowful lately. I just realized it by now, *sigh. Ahhh, did I being too much drama?

Image source : http://weheartit.com/sinem_sert

You're not that busy

Ki, don't misunderstand thinking as working. As when thinking, you're just imagining that work. And nothing gonna change through imagining. So just do it anyway.

You're not that busy. Your brain is just too crowd of ideas that fussing to be realized. And you might be just misunderstand those thought as an actual work whereas you're not even start anything yet. So roll of your sleeve, baby. You gotta work harder than ever.
It seems like an enormous amount work to do because you haven't start. So just remember your own promise on this post. Kay? (;

Image source: http://what-is-your-fashionality.tumblr.com

Maturity

I'm no expert to talk about maturity. But since I hit an early stage of twentieth, I start to think a lot about the essence of being mature. Being old is a scary phrase for me. But being mature is a different topic. Getting old is a matter of number but mature is more into emotional state of a person.

I start to don't mind about something I used to consider as important thing for me. Such as, birthday maybe? I don't know, I start to loss my excitement of celebrating birthday. But I know it doesn't mean that I was mature enough when I no longer whine about birthday party to my parent or hoping for birthday present from my friends. But it is the essence that I'm talking about. You no longer want to troublesome other people around you because all you think is you wanna be independent.

You start to think about your preference career. You start chasing goals. Not only achievement goals but also property goals. You no longer easily offended by trivial thing because life itself has been complicated, right?

But top of it all, mature for me means you start to base your decisions on something different than what you do in the past. It indicates that we start to see the world in a different perspective because our mindset is growing. Of course we all hope it growing to the wiser way.

PS!

I write this article while listening to Coffitivity. Have yourself a try! It's a nice tool to boost your creativity. (:

When you feel insecure, you tend to pretend to be bold to calm yourself down

 

I don't know if this happen to other people, but I do feel that I tend to pretend to be bold when I actually don't know what should I do. I feel that bold is a form of positivity that I can maintain to calm my self down. I mean, just like blogging. If you happen to read my wordpress blog, where I babble much thing about happiness, someone may think that I'm a happy-go-lucky girl. The fact is, I mostly write the post when I don't know what should I do.

Funny. Even sometime I write in incoherent mind with something like "how can I find the way out from this problem?" question in my mind. Sometime I also figure out the solution while I'm writing my blog post.  So there is a time when a newly published post get me to think "great! You know the theory now let's start the practice".

But there also a time, when I still get stuck even when I write. Just like this post. I actually write this a couple days ago to overcome the uncertainty in my self. But I don't know, until three paragraphs, I still don't know what should I do to overcome that feeling.

But thanks god, yesterday I found this article written by my favorite James Clear. It give me an enlightenment to face my bad habit (dwell on something for a pretty long time before settling a decision).

He said :

Nearly every problem you face is temporary. But it cause immediate pain. And we often let this pain drive our choices and actions

.Making better choices is often a matter of choosing better constraints. By limiting your options to those that fit your values, you are taking an important step to ensuring that your behavior matches your beliefs.

So that's how I finally make my decision.

PS!
Happy independent day for my belove country, Indonesia. I know, I haven't done anything for you but I do wish all the better thing be with us ahead. Amiin (:

And oh, if you have any relative that is pregnant or ever been pregnant, please help me to to fill this questionnaire. Gracias! :D

Holiday update

Nothing much to say since this is just an obligatory update so I'm not leaving this week without any post. I'm having my college break here in my hometown peacefully. But since it's been almost a month, I'm getting bored here. You know, too much sweet things will bring you into diabetes. Haha.

I don't have anything to preach about in my wordpress blog, so I'm coming here to babbling. Hey, take a look at this guy!

His character in Flower boy next door was just soooo lovable. And I feel that he's kinda similar to my favorite cutie Min Hyuk. Anyone with me?

But when he's acting serious scene, he remind me of my favorite Jo In Sung. I'd like to see him on his next drama but too bad he was started his mandatory military service since April 2014. Hmm, I have to wait a couple years any longer to see him on screen.

Take your time

When you feel like the time flies so fast, just enjoy your work.
When you feel like the clock ticking so slow,  just take your time.
You may feeling guilty doing nothing, but don't.
Life is not just about running.
It's about knowing the timing.
When you have to run, and when you have to take a break.

It's okay to sit around and take a look to your surrounding.
The sky is yours to enjoy..

The sand is yours to feel.


 You may want to pause the time so you can feel the moment.
So you can listen to the breeze of the beach much longer.
Even you may going to whine "Can I just do this for a living?"

But dear self, don't be lured by the joy.
You have to know when the time you must going back home.
And back to enjoy your ride.
A long (yet so fast) journey called life.

Renew your habit

Dream is a never-ending topic for me. I strongly believe that everyone has at least one dream she/he want to achieve badly. But the thing is, not everyone know how to preparing their selves in order to achieve it.

We really need to organize our dream, mapping it, & plan some strategies to make it happen. But do not expect to achieve it quickly. Because you know lah, even instant noodle take 5 minutes before it ready to served.
   

The desire to achieve results quickly fools you into thinking that the result is a prize.

So, since I know that dream must be organized, I start to arranging my own strategy. Creating much of visual reminders that keep me anxious. But one day, I read an e-book which tell me to start with habit change if you really want to achieve those great goals.

Your audacious life goals are fabulous. We’re proud of you for having them. But it’s possible that those goals are designed to distract you from the thing that’s really frightening you—the shift in daily habits that would mean a re–invention of how you see yourself. —Seth Godin

It turns out that we have to break our dream into pieces of habit, stick with it, and achieve it slowly. But wait, starting a new habit is not an easy thing, right? But don't worry guys, everything takes time kok. The e-book tell me to start the habit changes with trigger. The trigger can be anything that you never fail to do everyday. For example, let's say you want to start a new habit to do sport everyday. So you can use "wake up" as a trigger for you to start doing push up, sit up, or anything.

“make it so easy that you can’t say no.”

Choose an easy trigger that makes you feel like your new habit is a routines for you. In the beginning, performance doesn't matter. What does matter is becoming the type of person who always sticks to your new habit - not matter how small or significant it seems.

Want to start an easy change? I dare you to be a happier person (because I really hate seeing an unhappy person). But don't worry guys. I give you my secret (not so, actually. Because I've written it before) trigger to be a happier person. The trigger is "waking up". The new habit that you have to start is smiling as sincere as you possibly can do. Smile is an easy thing right? You couldn't say no, kay? (:

Smiling help to camouflage your brain that you have a terribly good mood. So, when your brain got your intrigue, it's all set.

To celebrate some of my new habit change, I have prepared this visual reminder template for you guys (if you want to start your own habit change). I also put my challenge for you on the first list (I really want everybody to be a happy person). So, let's start a new good habit, good people! (:

Download link:
- Renew your habit + trigger
- Renew your habit, weekly

How to let go of your dream? Uhm, just don't

Couple days ago, I checked my email - just like I usually do - and found this article from my current favorite self-development website. The tittle was "How to let go of your dream". I usually agree with whatever they write on the website, but not for this one.

The topic was somehow so me, for now. I read it, and I try to understand her situation -which she write on her post- but I don't think that it will suitable in my case.

Let go of your dream?
Let go of my dream.
My dream, good bye! Oh no.

I don't think that I could be brave enough to gracefully let go of my dream. Although there are lot of time, when it look so far away and unreachable. But dream was just like that. Scaring and of course - if you reach it earnestly - exhausting.

"If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough"

The thing is, life doesn't always go on your way. There are lot unsupportive situations and obstacles that makes you feel like quitting. But hell yeah, you always have the reason to stay if you really want to make it. 

So keep the faith, self. Just remember what JKT48 said on their song, River :
"Mimpi itu selalu, terlihatnya jauh & jaraknya terasa tidak tergapai."
"Dream will always look so distant and unreachable."

Keep the faith, self. Keep the faith.. (:

Tonight, I decide to be a paper girl

Got my self a long list of what should I do on this week. I'm still in the mood of holiday tho, so getting a short paper-crafting-getaway is likely the good idea. Here's a list of what I've been made lately:
     ♥ Femaldev mini notebook
Some small presents for the upcoming month Femaledev workshop when we will celebrate Kartini Day. My printer is still run out of ink, so I can't finish the notebook right away. Should be done as soon as I refill my cartridge.

     ♥ DIY Paper Pinwheels
I've been reading some creative blog lately and I just can't resist not to try this DIY. It's a cute paper pinwheels DIY from stylemepretty. Fortunately, I just bought a new patterned origami paper, so I took it for a try.

even it's reversible! :D

I added a fringe-flower I've made from paper for the third attempt. I've been made the fringe flower since a long time ago, and today I finally have a chance to utilize it. Haha.

 

     ♥ Turning my waste paper into confetti
Playing with paper bring me a guilty feeling of leaving so many paper waste of my craft work. So, lately I've been keeping the waste for I don't know what is it for. But today, I have an idea to turning it into confetti. Ha!

 Pretty satisfy for the so-much confetti I get, actually. But it's still leaving a less-waste dong. Even It was just half of the waste. Still so much waste remain.

Okay, that's all. Once, one of my friends  said that I'm this kurang-kerjaan. Ahaha, yeah. Maybe I am. But I do enjoy my kurang-kerjaan time more than my busy-bee time. Why do they care about my time, anyway? Haha.

You have not come home yet

Last week, when my first niece was born, I feel like I was the happiest auntie in the world. It was like tears, worries and bad expectations slowly become blur and gone. But then I remember a wise suggestion, "Don't be too happy. Something overrated is not good.".

And then yeah. Human is just human. There may something bad attack your life and BUM! Your mood turn down in a blink. And here come a state of mind that very soft, but you just wanna get away from it whenever you get there.

"Sadness makes you human." Sentence that I always use to calm my self down when I get in that position. Fake smile may works to camouflage people around you, but not your brain. It know what the heart feels. And whenever heart feeling down, brain always there to arrange the solutions.

It's okay to be sad. Sadness bring you time to reflect. Like, I may have done something bad in the past, and this just the time to pay back. And sadness bring you a time to searching for another thing that you should grateful for. Sadness just a moment to remind you that you're just a human. Because there is no perfection for human.

There was an article I read from Tobitall's blog but was originally written on Danielle laPoste's website, "Love your sadness. It won't last." Beautifully written and a perfect reminder to stay happy with our sadness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was feeling it. Pure sadness — the inescapability of it plowing through the softest part of me. When you’re in that kind of painful place you’ll try to climb the walls to get away from it. You want it over with.
“Love your sadness. It won’t last long.” A friend texted me late at night. I caught it just as I was turning off my bedroom light.
Love my sadness?
Love my sadness.
Sadness, I love you.
Let me give you a kiss, instead of my fist.
You’re heavy, but you’re so honest.
I should give you more credit. More space.
I’ll be grateful when you leave —
but I know I’ll be grateful that you came.
A metaphor: You know when you catch a cold, and part of you is just a bit grateful for it? The cold itself sucks. But it gives you a reprieve, an excuse to stop, curl up, wind down — it demands a compassionate response.
And if you’re smart, you milk it. Take the day off, order in, watch the entire “Breaking Bad” series on Netflix, sleep… a lot. And while you’re sleeping off your fever, you get the sense that you’re burning off months of built up stuff — and sorting out some internal things. You get better, you put fresh sheets on the bed, and you’ve got a new attitude.
Same thing with sadness.
Sadness gives you the chance to be still with the most tender place of your being.
Sadness is an opportunity to deeply appreciate your losses and your longings.
Sadness brings you eye to eye with your desires.
Appreciation is fuel for change.
Love gives your sadness the energy it needs to move through you… so it can move on.
By loving your sadness, you’re respecting your truth.
And freedom always follows truth.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, back to the wise suggestion I've mentioned before. "I won't be too sad. Something overrated is not good". Let me try to love my sadness, try to respect the truth. Maybe sadness will love me back, and leave me slowly.

Oh, doesn't it sounds too drama? Pssssh, maybe I'm just feeling anxious because I have not come home yet. Home make me bored sometime. But I couldn't agree more that home is the place that the heart belong to. (:

Udinus Webmaker Party 2013 & Mozkopdar SMG

When I was a little kid, I used to play with mud or sand to build my own hand-made house. The moment when I turning my imagination into hand made house was really exciting. And now, as I grew older I feel that I found the same excitement when I design my own web (blog, web-page, whatsoever). I feel that web is a new home for me.

And when the first time I know the Webmaker project from Mozilla, I knew that this gonna be more exciting. More people will able to understand how to build the web, with the very easy tools they have. So here we are, the first Webmaker Party in my campus (even it was the first time in town) was held last month, Desember 14th 2013 with the help of some peers I have from Open Source Community in my campus (Doscom).

We called it as a party but it was actually  a six-hours workshop (haha, but I hope everyone had fun). It was attended by about 40 students. And I even met 2 Mozillians from Malang, Jawa Timur who sneaking out within their internship time in Semarang (Thanks for coming, Insan and Alfin! (:

Though there was some trouble with the internet connection, but everyone was still excited to join the sessions. We're playing spectogram and turn out so many of them want to make e-commerce (I sniff the entrepreneur spirit here, haha).

Everyone is so excited playing with Thimble, X-Ray Goggles, and Popcorn Maker. And finally, we ended it with Zoomarang winning as the best group-project of the event.

Zoomarang team.

Can't get enough of the party, we held a second Mozillians meetup (#MozKopDarSMG) on the next day. A Mozilla representative from Jakarta, Mbak Rara was explaining Firefox OS project and I myself, explain about Firefox Student Ambassador Program. We had a lot of fun talking about Firefox OS and trying the FirefoxOS phone.

Can't wait to manage more event in the future! ^^

Photo credit : @rara79

A love letter

Hello mom, my name is holiday. It's because we're miles apart and mostly meet just in my free time which is holiday.

I must say that you're the most independent woman I've ever known. You may not know it, but I adore you like, a lot. It's like you have nothing you afraid of except losing your family. You're such an amazing family-woman. I love you so. ❤

You yelled a lot of times (I'm sure moms out there also did), but you always cook my favorite menus when I'm home (even without asking what I want to eat. You know it perfectly).

We know it exactly that we have a lot of difference. But as I grew older, I start to realized that my temper was a lot like yours. We just feel, sometime without saying. Tho I can say that I am more frank than you are (you can't deny).

And as you know, we have a terrible time back then when I was younger. I hate you sometime (I'm so sorry) and think that Dad love me more than you do. But now I even amazed, how could you resist having a super selfish daughter like me. I love you. ❤

Aaaah, the point is I'm just trying to say..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!

Please do not mistaken. I'm not celebrating your getting-older day. I'm just a grateful daughter who celebrate the day when her mom was born. I'm so grateful I still have you here, and hope we can grow older together. Hmm sorry, no. I hope I'll never get older and be your forever-little-daughter.

Thanks for making me proud having a mom like you. I know I'm such a rebel but I really hope I have not failed you. Please, bear with me. I'll make you happy in my own way.

Just remember this, whatever I do, I will always love you from earth to the eternal world. ❤

xoxo

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